John has checkups with his oncologist every month. For me, they're little islands of respite. I count on them for reassurance that the cancer isn't back. Still about a week beforehand, I start to feel the fear creeping in. He's always calm & certain about the outcome, while I'm anxious & overwhelmed. Today his oncologist declared he had perfect bloodwork. And once again, I was reminded that what matters most is right now. After I heard the good news from John, I went for a (slow) run because it was on my to do list for the day. Cancer has a funny way of forcing you to embrace todayness.